Exploding a Moment: Developing Details
Description: This revision technique is especially helpful in eliciting rich & specific details.
Suggested Time: 25 minutes
Procedure:
1. Read orally the following paragraph. You can either just read it aloud and have the students listen or you can project it on the screen for them to read along:
I woke up late this morning--as usual. I had no clean clothes and the fridge was next to bare. Traffic was heavy as I sped to work. Some jerk cut me off and I almost had a wreck. At work I went to my desk and there was a note to go and see the boss. I waited outside her office for a while before she called me in. I couldn’t figure out why she wanted to see me. I went inside and sat down. My boss handed me an envelope. She told me that my services were no longer needed and that I was free to go. I got my belongings from my desk and left. The drive home was quick. I am now unemployed.
2. Spend a few minutes to discuss the lack of details in this paragraph. Explain that any one of these sentences could be "exploded" to create an interesting story. Then read/show them the following “explosion” as an example:
Some jerk cut me off and I almost had a wreck. I hate people who can’t drive. I decided to teach him a little lesson by playing near bumper cars with his bright red 300 ZX. He kept hitting his brakes, and eventually even shook a fist of rage at me. I giggled gleefully--kind of like that lady in Fried Green Tomatoes who got immense pleasure from repeatedly rear-ending the car of the person who had stolen her parking space. Space is crucial, and that jerk will probably think twice before he cuts into mine again.
3. Now pass out copies of the first (bland) paragraph to students while they are getting into small groups (their tables). Give the groups about 8-10 minutes and assign each group 1-2 sentences to explode, making up the most interesting details about the sentence(s)--as long as the additions will still fit in the facts of the original paragraph.
4. Afterward, in order, have each group read its sentence one at a time, sharing their explosions and ultimately producing (hopefully) and much-improved, highly detailed paragraph.
5. Discuss the differences between the bare bones of the first paragraph and the rich details of their exploded paragraph.
6. Finally, encourage students to choose sentences in the drafts they are working on and “explode” them, adding interesting details to produce strong final drafts.
